Herpa derp, it's a voice test!

[jetstreamer]

[SUDDENLY, A CYBORG(?) SAMURAI MAKING HIS WAY DOWNTOWN, PAST YOUR FACE, WHAT NOW

No but really, have a Sam who is pretty much confused because fuck if he knows where he is. Seriously, has no one ever heard of Denver?? What's with these weird landmarks? And more importantly, what's wrong with some of the people's hair ARE THEY HUMANIZED GUMBALLS?!

Eventually, after looking around for however long it was, he'll go back to the other direction to where he parked...his...

Uh-oh.]

Ah man, this again?!

[WHO KEEPS STEALING HIS BIKE.]

Comments

[penisenvy]

[Oops, here is a girl in biker clothes zooming down the street on his bike and laughing. Yes, she saw it and decided to steal it. Again.]

[jetstreamer]

[really

really]

You never learn, do you girlie...!

[Thank god for these suit enhancements because once he takes off, he's hot on her trail. Welcome to Metal Gear Rising: Bike Revengeance DLC!]

[penisenvy]

[She throws him a backwards glance and, without regard to her own safety or the safety of any approaching vehicles, leisurely flips him off.]

Catch me if you can, old timer!

[jetstreamer]

[Cheesed off levels slowly rising...!]

Hey, hey! If you're going to multi-task, then keep your eyes on the road too, at least!

[penisenvy]

Make me!

[However, this defiance ultimately costs her. Because she's not watching where she's going, she ends up swerving in the wrong direction and crashing into a telephone pole.]

[Thank god she knows how to fall out of a bike without shattering her skull or neck.]

[jetstreamer]

[By the time he reaches her and sees the wreck...well.]

...you're paying extra just for that, you know.

[Legit 1000% done with you, Mordred.]

[penisenvy]

Aw...

[She sits up and scowls.]

Not my fault there was a stupid telephone pole there.

[jetstreamer]

Suuuure. And I bet it's not your fault that the motorcycle suddenly started while you just happened to be on it.

[a snort]

You should be thankful I haven't turned you over to the police. At least, not just yet.

[penisenvy]

Your fault for leaving the keys in the car, old man.

[darknessillusion]

[Don't mind the mildly amused succubus smiling up against the tree, Sam.]

My, don't you look frustrated. Lose something, handsome?

[Because clearly, the way to introduce yourself to someone is to flirt with them.]